Redneck Dad Shoots Laptop – No Hero in My Eyes

11 Feb

One of the more popular videos making its way around the net right now is this one entitled Facebook Parenting: For the troubled teen.

Here it is:

Here we have a common species of super-suburban/rural American redneck who is angry with his teenaged daughter because she doesn’t much care for him and expressed this behind his back.  More specifically, she did this on Facebook.  We can presume that either she forgot to set the privacy level for her post to friends-only or her father used some manner of trickery to gain access, which seems most likely given he touts his occupation as, “working in IT.”  He read the offending post after he’d spent time and money to upgrade her laptop computer.  Feeling oh-so slighted, he makes a video of himself reading the Facebook post aloud, reprimands his daughter publicly and finishes things off by putting several .45 caliber “exploding hollow point rounds” through his daughter’s laptop computer, presumably the very device she used to make the post.  That is to say he repeatedly shoots the fucking thing with a semi-automatic pistol.

He shoots… a goddamned laptop.

There are a lot of variables here, of course.  The guy’s daughter may be a complete brat.  He may be a remarkable asshole.  She may, other than being somewhat short-sighted, be a brilliant student and model teenager.  He may be a guy who has generally been a fantastic parent and found himself desperate to make an impression on a daughter who may be in danger of walking down a self-destructive path.  I could insert myriad scenarios and characterizations here, all of which could be true.  But we don’t know.

What we do know for certain is that this modern-day gunslinger (complete with earthy accent, cowboy hat, dungarees, and a nicotine addiction) feels that the best way of dealing with this problem is to publicly destroy a perfectly functioning (and even recently upgraded) piece of technology.

Let’s see.  Could there perhaps have been a better way to dispose of the computer?

Let us count the ways.

For one, he could have given it to someone.  A good candidate might be some underprivileged  kid who works his or her ass off in school but doesn’t have the cash for a shiny piece of newfangled hardware like that.  All it would take is a quick trip down to the school’s guidance counselor to find a proper candidate.

Or, perhaps it could be donated to an underpaid teacher who could also put it to good use.  Ya know, the very same people who are trusted with his daughter’s education.

Or maybe the local library.

Or maybe the nearest community college.

I could go on.

But instead, this half-witted hick has to go and destroy it, and I can only assume it’s because he, like too many of us Americans, just don’t fucking realize how good we have it, even in these rather difficult economic times.

And what does this really communicate to his daughter- the person he’s trying to reach?

Well, it’s pretty simple, really.  If you read between the lines, he’s saying:

Dear Daughter,

I am emotionally handicapped.  I am passive-aggressive.  I can’t be bothered to actually learn to communicate with you effectively.  Instead, I will do the only thing I know how to do, which is to cry out in front of the world like a child.  I solve delicate problems with guns because I lack the ability to cope with life’s difficult problems like an adult.

Please use this as example of how to parent your own children (should you have any) so that we may continue our brand of crass, ignorant, and highly embarrassing dysfunction in the family for many years to come.

Love,

Dad

As of this writing, the video in question has been viewed nearly 9.5 Million times.  It has been given 138,297 “likes” versus 10,618 “dislikes” on YouTube giving it an approval rating of approximately 93%.

And I’m not shocked, but it does make me a little sad to know that people aren’t really thinking this through.

Unfortunately, this is a Jackass style parenting, where shock value, attention-whoring, and entertainment take precedence over careful thought and communication.  The difference being that at least the Jackass crew has the common decency to tell you that what they do is a stunt and shouldn’t be attempted at home.

So take it to heart people!  If you’re having trouble with your kids, just start shooting random pieces of electronics, film it, and post it on YouTube.

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